Waiting on the World to Change

A new day beckons...looking back I have so many memories...bad and good ones. Sometimes we feel like queens and kings, sometimes like jerks or bitches...its funny the way our mind works. We do or feel things which we know are not so right or cool.

At the end of the year everybody asks 'what have you accomplished?’ This seems the most apt or logical Q but I don’t want to answer that anymore. Instead I want to ring in the new year silently sans anticipation, sans expectations, and sans foolhardiness …easier said then done?
:)

Happy New Year!

Waiting On the World to Change

John Mayer

Me and all my friends

We’re all misunderstood

They say we stand for nothing and

There’s no way we ever could

Now we see everything that's going wrong

With the world and those who lead it

We just feel like we don't have the means

To rise above and beat it

So we keep waiting

Waiting on the world to change

We keep on waiting

Waiting on the world to change

It’s hard to beat the system

When we're standing at a distance

So we keep waiting

Waiting on the world to change

Now if we had the power

To bring our neighbors home from war

They would have never missed a Christmas

No more ribbons on their door

And when you trust your television

What you get is what you got

Cause when they own the information, oh

They can bend it all they want

That’s why we're waiting

Waiting on the world to change

We keep on waiting

Waiting on the world to change

It's not that we don't care,

We just know that the fight ain't fair

So we keep on waiting

Waiting on the world to change

And we're still waiting

Waiting on the world to change

One day our generation

Is gonna rule the population

So we keep on waiting

Waiting on the world to change

Blog Block

To say "writer’s block" sounded a bit presumptous :)
Have not been much of a blogger or "blogviewer" for sometime. So much was happening...my very own Psychotic/Anti romantic/ Comedy/ Drama in my living-room!
And then suddenly it ends like in the movies without showing you D The End. Ony difference: Real life, surreal emotions :)

I got a new job. I got a new job. Right now, my job is the most important thing in my life. It actually makes sense :P

What would I be without a job? What would anyone be without one? The security, independence and sense of meaning that tags along...Of course it’s a different matter if your dad was one of em who bought gold plated cradles or those diamond encrusted suckers or watever they are called for you or say your bachelor 80 year old millionare uncle suddenly dies of stroke while holidaying in the caribbean. You inherit the entire fortune! mmmm I'd probably buy an island in the caribbean and yeah give some away for a social cause....you see I am not so bad :)

I remember when I was in college. I used to have those night long discussions with my room-mate about making a difference in the world. Of how everyone is after big fat pay cheques without giving a heck about the down-trodden. I remember how agitated we were with those crooked politician and "government servant(s)" and the "selfish corporate" world whose culture was work, work and more money.

Fast forward: I am part of that culture.
But hey its still a great feeling to be INDEPENDENT.

I wonder what happened to my dreams, my beliefs, the little things that used to make me happy...satisfied. I always come back to the same question...Why am I here for?

I know why.

But what I dont know is why am I not doing anything about it?

Goa

There was rain..
The waves were not so inviting like it was last time...
The journey was tirin...
The driver was temperamental...

However, the rain did not last forever, the waves are always better when you take a dip, the journey was much much better than last time at least (we even saw a movie!) :) and I thought I heard the driver rapping by the end of the trip ;)I also learned how to ride a scooty...though a friend of ours had a lil scooty accident :(

The Food was better this time...though your capacity limits, you anyhow find a way to take that 11th last morsel!

Its always so nice just to take a walk in the beach or sit in a shack and stare at the waves...gets you thinkin by default. You kinda think that every wave will encompass all that you feel inside but its still animate...its there and you are standing where you are. I dunno if I am being vain but life is so much bigger than the waves and tides. We feel what we feel and you can never contemplate enough...nonetheless I love the waves...it make you realise your realizations. I had some thinkin to do...thought that by the end of the trip the answers will come clickin but I still dont know what I want or need to do... guess there are no real escapes...we just gotta deal with it....anyhow.

If I had my way I'd move to Goa anyday...anyyyyday! :D

Cant wait for the next trip...

Maha and me :)

Goa Pics.

Me and Kil




I have always, always wanted to wear shades...(cant use lens so stuck with glasses)
So here I am with Maha's shades...I think I look cool :)
(m a sucker for shades!)
l to r: me, eli, and Kil

Pre Goa Road Trip

Finally... The road to a dream seems not far...(15 hours by road!) And this dream is going to be an ESCAPE...THIS is the most perfect timing if I ever had one. I got things to think about besides swimmin, romancing the sunset, and drinkin wine ;)
I am but on a Double break!!! :D The beach and the sunset s goin to give me a new lease on life...and course the fact that Goa is the only place in India where you can wear anything without people gawking at you is awesome :)

Goa here I come....again!!!


Ps: Hope everything works out...

Did someone say swimming?

I discovered swimming!
Not that I can glide or dive like my other friends but hey they say that whatever I did IS swimmin ;)

There are so many things in life that you wish you can do or achieve. The list is unendin but the results are always otherwise....I remember in my other blog I wrote about my determination to learn something new and stylish (Salsa!!!) and the usual blah blah about how there are so many things that you wish...

Alas it remained Half- done as many of my other "projects"...
Anyways, coming back to my swimming...I am so proud of myself! Its still half done but I plan to perfect it on our Goa trip which is gonna happen in a week s time frm today :)
So we went to this resort which was like an hour away from the city. After the initial ooh ahhs about the place we jumped right into the water. Like any other day I relegated myself to the safer end of the weird shape pool or watever. My two friends with whom I had gone to Goa the first time...as usual were flaunting their skills while another friend of mine was struggling to learn the 'art'.
An hour pass...my friends almost gives up on me ... suddenly I see my other novice friend. She ackwardly but is swimming and I see that she glides underneath the water. I get inspired and immerse all my body underneath and let loose my friend's hand. Lo and behold I am underneath and moving!!! but I still have a long way to go...
Price paid: Tan

A week after this we plan another trip for a place called water world or something (enthu me!)
And I have never screamed or taken water rides like that since I left college! It was exhilirating...the speed almost gave me a stroke! And then we swim and swim and swim. I am much better :)
I also laugh at my ex-novice friend who is now bent on improving her diving style. What a pout and sight! :D

mmmm am I stupid or a loser to just discover that we can actually open our eyes underneath the water and SEE. I felt like Jack Johnson in his upside down video ...well er I thought that the whole deal was thanks to technology. I tend to blame the wonders of technology for every illogical incomprehension that is on tv! :D
Not stupid but definetely a loser! :D

Price paid: Tanned and how!

I Have Tag

So this is my first tag...
And I actually love pondering/penning about these things
Thanks Divyan :)

I am thinking about...
ME: Why dont I show my name in here?
ME: Am I real?
ME: Where will I be in a year's time?
ME: Why do I Think so much?
ME: How do we know for Sure?
ME: My "5 year plan".

I said...
That life is unpredictable and its cool to say that thats the spice/beauty/magic of it
But I can't pretend anymore, I am scared. I am a scaredy cat. Chicken.

I want to...
Just stop the world.
Soak in all the things that has happened/been happening since 6 months.

I wish...
I knew if he is "the one"
I lived in Hawaii
I was in Jack Johnson's concert, near the beach...sunset...with my baldy :)
I can dance like Shakira
ps: A friend of ours tried to show us the Real Reggaeton Moves, we ended up moving...but with laughter. So you can imagine :)

I hear...
"In times like these, In times like those
What will be will be...And so it goes
And it always goes on and on...
And there has always been laughing, crying, birth, and dying
Boys and girls with hearts that take and give and break
And heal and grow and recreate and raise and nurture
But then hurt from time to time like these..."

I wonder...
If I am making the right decision(s).

I regret...
Treating my mom only as a supermom and not as a woman with her own needs and desires
For not doing well in my Bachelor's degree some years ago :)

I am...
A person who knows her weakness. I am indecisive, fickle and short sighted
But I am still OK because I always come back to my mistakes and do something about it
I am also a loving and caring friend
In a relationship after 5 years
Still coming to terms like "boyfriend", "significant other" ayaya!

I dance...
to hip- hop. I love to dance.
I dance with my friends when we go pubbin or whenever there is an occassion.
Sometimes I also dance when I am in the shower :)

I sing...
When I hear familiar songs around me.
I have this really irritating habit of singin a tune/one liner over and over again.

I cry...
when I am sad or extremely grateful.
I cried last night thanking God for answering my prayers :)
I love my brother.

I am not always...
positive even though my mantra is..
Everything happens for a reason, a good reason.

I make with my hands...
Breakfast every morning.
Lunch and dinner sometimes...I am pretty surprised that I love cooking...though the road to being a good cook seems pretty far!
Its amazing when you have to cook an entire meal by yourself...multi tasking!

I write...
here and in my journal.
I used to write in my other blogs.

I need...
Love.
Its the only reason I live for.

Encore? and Jack

And I think who is my audience?

Besides two people who knows this page's existence and its author(;P) ...no one knows. I dont have time to read "unnecessary" (I fall under that!) blogs (neither do ppl I guess), unless its people- I- know- blogs or really interesting blogs- life experience like readingwhilefalling

But then I still type and type...and I will type because its my space and its kinda nice to come back here and read wat u thought or felt cos as hard as you think you are in control, you seriously lose track of yourself at times :) Boy oh boy it is so true...humbling to know that u aint the only "hero"...well I am one of em though.

I just saw Jack Johnson's videos Again...check it out if ur a "fan" ...its fantastic!!! (swoons)jackjohnsonmusic
Taylor with Ben Stiller still cracks me up...its a video with comedy, melody and soul :) where do u find tht???

(I got melody and soul...guess I ll have to do with half a cuppa comedy :P )

Its been two years with his music almost everyday and he still strikes a chord to my senses everytime he strums!! Well sometimes I deny to my friends' accusation that I am a crazy "fan". I mean who wants to sound like an irrational crazy teenager gushing over an artiste when you are 24!!! (yeah thats my age)
I guess I am one :)

He is simply amazing and I love his lyrics...for me its makes more sense than the existential angst of Kafka or Stoppard...Am I comparing? nah but then who draws the yardsticks anyway...well I guess am amongst the "intellectually lesser" of the mortals...


I think about life and in some level I see it just as
Jack croons...
"Well I am just people watchin, the other people watchin me
We are just people watchin, the other people watchin we...
We are as lonely as we wanted to be...

I am just you, you are just me
Its only true, if we believe"

I do not think that we can ever be happy alone witout sharing or caring about other people. We need to relate to people and try UNDERSTANDING them. Its easier said than done but there is just so much energy when we do that. Its amazing when we open up...you find meaning and a point of reference from that experience.
We might fail but hey we did try didnt we?

I have 109 dreams...never did care about money but darn its slowly playin a vital role! Reality is like this really coarse taste of charcoal (yeah i ve tasted it :) )
Most of the time I feel like I live near the brink of reality. Its a bubble goin to burst anytime...but I always try to blow more of it. I guess that is life for me...otherwise I'd never be happy.

I remember a friend of mine and me discussing about People and how there is meaning in every relationship that we pursue if we give it chance. I have hoards of friends and I always thought this is it, my book of friends is complete. But its not so.
I open and I find so much insight...Love

For me..
"...Love is the answer,
At least for most of the questions in my heart
Like why are we here? and where do we go?
And how come it's so hard?It's not always easy and
Sometimes life can be deceiving
I'll tell you one thing its always better when we're together..." (jj- better together)

Its always better together with People.

Me

So here is one of my many beginnings in the virtual world...
It is a space where I willingly let strangers delve inside moi...this thought is actually unnerving but heck I have been doing this for sometime.
Life as I know has been quite a ride. From bunking school to the very first taste of beer. From the shady smokes to the other very stale tastes.... From losing mom to finding Christ. From knowing Blake as the "lover of Nature" to Blake who saw Christ as a Revolutionary. From bad grades to good grades....and finally realising that nothing is for sure except that there will be life after every tear, happiness, and death. I can't believe that I am going lose my breath one day and be gone some place else, which I still cannot comprehend as much as I want to.
But what I do know for sure is that I believe in His love and in my friends. I am not perfect but I try to be better each day.